An Israeli, a Babylonian, and an Egyptian walk into a Brewery (Part 1)

“… and the car keys bounced right into the storm drain!” Joni exclaimed. The table erupted—some laughing, others groaning, each sipping the liquid remains of their once magnificently fizz-crowned Pilsner glasses. For once in my life, I finished my beer first and decided that, since the night was still young, I would fight my way back through the crowd to request a refill of the dark, frothy stout I am still so fond of.

It was while I was waiting at the bar that I saw a peculiar event unfold.

A small group comprised of two men and one woman entered the brewery and made their way towards the hand-crafted bar stools. Sliding themselves effortlessly onto the polished wooden seats, they continued a conversation that must have been going on for some time. The woman, who was an Israeli, sat looking at a drink menu and listened patiently as the over-confident young men argued animatedly with one another.

Intrigued yet trying to remain unnoticed, I sat quietly a few stools down from them, feigning disinterest, glancing over at them now and again.

“That doesn’t matter!” The mustached man protested.

“Chad, you know very well that as an Egyptian our history and religious practice dates farther back than yours.”

(From what I gathered, Chad was of Babylonian descent.)

“Can we at least agree that the firmament is a fixed, solid dome covering the earth—not too unlike the dome one finds in The Truman Show?” he reasoned, making an imaginary half-circle with his hands.

“Of course,” Chad remarked.

All of a sudden, the intensity of the conversation lowered.

“And can we agree that water sits upon the solid firmament-dome of the earth?” The Egyptian man queried further, stroking his mustache.

“How else would the sky appear blue and where could the rain come from otherwise?” Chad responded.

“Exactly! So we are in agreement there then,” said the Egyptian.

“Yes. On these points anyway,” Chad replied.

The Egyptian man added, “And the shape of the earth? Round like a disc?”

Chad nodded in agreement.

“And what do you think about the lights we see in the sky each clear night?”

Chad answered, “Placed into the solid dome beneath the waters, again, not so unlike what one observes in The Truman Show.”

To this the Egyptian exclaimed, “So while we disagree on the powers behind it all, we can at least agree on geography then!”

“Precisely, we can.” Chad agreed.

Michal finished looking at her menu and placed it on the bar counter.

“And how about you, Michal?” The Egyptian man asked. “Where do you stand on this?”

Michal quickly yet confidently stated: “I agree with you.”

After a brief pause, she continued, “If one looks at Genesis 1, they will see that God created the heavens and the earth. And when God did so, he put a firmament-dome around the earth, and he separated the waters below the earth from those above the dome of the earth, just like what you were both saying earlier. Furthermore, God put lights in the dome underneath the heavenly waters including the two greater lights: the sun and the moo…”

“And the shape of the earth?” Chad interrupted.

“I was just getting there, Chad,” Michal retorted sharply yet not loudly. The intense gleam in her eye was enough to cause Chad to instinctively raise his hands at half-surrender.

“Isaiah 40 says that God sits enthroned above the circle of the earth. Many churches around here take this to mean a sphere, but a circle doesn’t necessarily mean a sphere. Plus, when one considers that there was no conception of spherical planets when the Bible was written, it seems much more likely to be describing a disc.”

This schematic reconstruction is found in: Iconographic Exegesis of the Hebrew Bible/Old Testament: An Introduction to Its Theory, Method, and Practice

“It would be a bit anachronistic to believe that ‘circle’ would mean ‘sphere’ in this case,” surmised the Egyptian.

“Honestly,” she added, “does it make sense to have a dome over a sphere? Not really. Maybe a dome over a part of the sphere would work like what we saw in The Truman Show, but not over the entire globe.”

“Furthermore, the Bible talks about the earth being laid on foundations and set upon pillars. Would it make sense for a revolving and rotating globe to be set firmly upon foundations or pillars? No.”

“I think, therefore, that the earth must be a disc rather than a sphere.” She concluded with a smile of satisfaction.

“So we are all in agreement then?” asked the Egyptian man.

“Yes, it appears so,” she said as she motioned for the bartender.

“Perhaps we can continue this after we order.”

The young men mumbled, “Right.”

“I still want to hear about that sea-serpent water-deity we were talking about earlier, Chad,” the Egyptian man said as the two of them opened their menus.

“Maybe we can start there when we’ve finished ordering.”